Complaining

I'm sure I heard a version of this somewhere, I apologize if I don't cite you because I don't remember where I read it, but anyway, I decided that I should try and adopt an attitude of minimal complaining. My motto “bitch, moan and complain, all you want, but do it only for five minutes, then either do something about the problem or move on.” For those of you that don't know me that well, here's a fun fact, I used to be a waitress at I-HOP back in Champaign, boy did that job teach me so much, especially about complaining.

When I first started working at IHOP, I feel that all I did was complain. “Oh this place sucks. There's never enough silver wear for customers, its a sauna in here, never enough plates, one of the grills is always broken, the heat doesn't work, Mondays and Fridays we are out of all the good things on the menu, oh and the guy that comes in at 7am didn't get here till 8 again, why should I have to give the bus boy 2 % of my tips when all the tables are dirty, blah blah blah blah the list goes on and on.” Don't even get me started with the complaining from customers, or how about the cooks yelling at the servers for messing up an order. How about your coworker is complaining your ear off the minute you walk in. Lets make one thing clear, I'm sure I was that chick at one point when I used to work there but after a while, I even got sick of myself bitching and complaining, I decided in order to succeed in this job, you either fix it yourself, or move on, and learned how to handle complaints. You can't control what others do, but you can control how you react to customers situations and everyday work challenges. I don't think complaining ever got much done, other than irritate someone.

In a restaurant, complaining takes place all over in different sectors. In fact there is so much complaining that if a dollar was donated to hunger for every complain that goes down, we would probably rid this world of hunger. Now maybe this may be a tiny bit of an overstatement, but seriously, there is lots of complaining. Cooks complain at the servers because customers want their food to be made a certain way, servers complain about their customers complaining about their food being horrible. Oh, and the poor managers, who have to hear it all, they complain about all the complaints.

Despite all the complaining, I loved I-HOP. If any of my I-HOP friends are reading this, I miss you guys! Let me tell you a little bit about the great things of working at the I-HOP in Champaign. When you get to work with those people for two years, they become your family. You look out for each other. Some of these people are pretty tough, but let me tell you, you have to be tough in this job, or else it will tear you apart. Honestly, many people have quit this job, many have gone home crying not to come back. These folks will make you develop a tough skin. This job taught me so much patience, and how to work with people, how to work with difficult co workers. You eventually learn to play on peoples good side. Some of these people if you get to know them a little bit, they are pretty cool, they have big hearts, and are people just trying to make a living, and live life like every body else. These people serve others for a living, day in and day out. Most of these people take some sort of satisfaction and pride doing their work. These people are hard working people that keep the restaurant running. I would like to share a few stories from I-HOP that stuck with me.

One day one of my friends was waiting on an order, the customers had been waiting for a while. She even asked the cook about the food. There is no ticket for that meal they say. So she goes back to the computer, and surely enough, there was her order that had not been sent in. We are humans, we make mistakes, its just hard when your wages depend on your service however. What did she do thought? She walked over to the table and apologized, she says, “I'm sorry It was my fault, I forgot to send in your order, and that is why your meal is taking so long, but it is being made right now.” You may have thought that she would have gotten either no tip or a small one at that, they were happy with their meal, and appreciated her honesty, and left her a good tip.

People just like to complain sometimes. My favorite is when people complain about their food after scarfing down practically the whole dish.

There was an instance in which I had a table of customers, and this lady was complaining about her eggs. She asked for them over medium, she made sure that I understood that they HAD to be over medium. I knew already that this would be a picky customer, so I made sure I told the cook to make sure those eggs were over medium. I bring the food out, she automatically sends the eggs back, too runny. I have the cook remake them, bring them out, nope sorry these are way too done. So I think to myself, well, third times usually a charm right, hey my boss even decided he would make them himself, I bring them out, nope, these just ain't right, “it must just be me the customer replies.” Ohhh sure enough I am screaming inside my head, of course its you, we tried three different times, but what do I do, I just jokingly laugh with her, offer her something else.

There was a time that a customer complained about not having extra cheese on his burger, even though I saw my manager make it, and put extra cheese, and she also made sure she put extra cheese, but it didn't matter because the customer is always right.

We had a woman I will give her a pseudo name of Ruthy, who always came in for coffee, every once in a while she would order food. She would just sit there for hours and drink coffee and talk to her self, or just be in her own world. Ruthy was a very intelligent woman, who had 5 master degrees and knew at least two languages, and even served on the faculty at U Of I back in the day. Ruthy suffers from schizophrenia. Some times she will have her episodes and may get a little loud, but she is harmless, and an interesting person to get to know. Ruthy doesn't normally tip, every once in a while I had gotten some spare change from her, I was not bothered by this however. She is very kind and generous, there was several occasions that she brought us treats, or other things for the staff to share. This one busy Saturday, most of us had anywhere from 3-5 tables in our section. If you got stuck with a small section, you had to get your customers in and out otherwise you would make no money. Now I can understand the want and the need to make money, but to treat someone as less important than a paying customer was wrong. One of my coworkers, was ignoring Ruthy, and failed to give her proper service, she just wanted her gone from her section so she could seat tipping customers. This coworker of mine, sure liked to complain. I almost felt like telling her, if you are so concerned about making money then just seat your customers at one of my tables, but please don't make yourself the victim here. It was easier to just express my negative feelings about this coworker, and I sure did for a long time , but complaining wasn't going to get any thing done. I think I eventually learned to work with this coworker.

I am really glad I got an opportunity to work with all the people that I did at I-HOP, they taught me so much, and I made some really great friends, not just the staff but the customers as well.

So getting back to my blog, now that I have reminisced a little, back to the topic of complaining. Complaining can take out the fun in anything. “It can make a fun job into a chore; at home a complainer can make a relaxing place into a place of stress.” We can find things to complain about just in anything and everything. If you see something and don't do anything about it, it must not be that bad to warrant your complaining. I know if there is a tag inside my shirt that is just annoying the hell out of me, I sure am quick to change shirts or take a pair of scissors to it. Sure you may tell me that it's not always that easy. But no one did say it was. Life isn't always easy and it isn't always fair. You can get a lot more done by fixing a problem then complaining about it. I guess another way of putting this is don't be victimized. You choose how things affect you. It is easier to play the card of the victim for we are delivered from responsibility but we aren't called to be victims. Fred Kratic put it like this: “we celebrate our failings when we make ourselves the victim.”

Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye, when [men] shall revile you, and persecute [you], and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. ~ Matthew 5:10-11

You may be wondering how can you be blessed and persecuted at the same time. Simply put, God calls on victims, but he doesn't call us to BE victims. You can take initiative or control of the situation. Maybe the situation at hand is a blessing in disguise. Call me a an optimist if you want, maybe even naïve, but I choose how I play the cards I'm dealt.

“Instead of complaining that the rosebush is full of thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses.”~ unknown

Checklist for Life, Thomas Nelson Publishers

Bible KJV

Hubris

It was postmarked April 27,

1992. “Greetings from Fairbanks!” it reads,

This is the last you shall hear from me Wayne. Arrived here 2 days ago. It was very difficult to catch rides in the Yukon Territory. But I finally got here. Please return all mail I receive to the sender. It might be a very long I return South. If this adventure proves fatal and you don’t ever me again, I want you to know you’re a great man. I now walk into the wild.

- Alex

Happy birthday, Christopher McCandless. 2/12/1968- 1992

Today's post explores the life of Christopher McCandless aka Alex Supertramp.

For Those of you that know me, know that I spent a few months up in Fairbanks, Alaska. My husband spent about two years up there working. Alaska is something else. Even though I did not get experience Alaska for all that it is, I am still glad I had the opportunity to live there for a moment. My husband and I want to own a cabin up there, sometime down the road. I yet have to experience its – 60° weather. Fairbanks, is the city where Alex ventures out into the wild.

Written by Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild, is a book that retells Alex's life and adventures. There is also a a film with the same title directed by Shaun Penn. Some of my Alaskan friends may criticize the McCandless story and be annoyed at how his death and lifestyle is romanticized, I do not blame them. The most critical statements made towards McCandless, come from people who live in Alaska, people who are experienced in rugged outdoor living. Regardless of these views, there is much to be learned from Alex. By no means do I deny the fact that Alex died a stupid death. Even thought he was gifted and talented and had above average intelligence, he sure lacked some common sense. His lack in humility, stubborn idealism, and hubris attitude, with an underestimation of the land and a mixture of unfortunate events with the course of time lead to a solemn death. Ironically, the artists he so idolized, lived a life contrary to what they preached, or what their art portrayed. Alex however measured his friends and those he admired by their art and works, rather than the life they lead. And even though he held himself and close friends to an extremely high code of ethics, and extended forgiveness to those who had lead their life astray, and had made grave mistakes he failed to extend this same courtesy to his family, especially his father. He is also a jerk for just leaving his family, with no explanation, never called or write to let them know he was ok. He Pretty much erased his family.

So why then do I defend him, or why do I feel sympathy towards him? What is there to learn from him? Well like everything else boys and girls, learning comes in all sorts of ways. Even though his death is a tragedy, there is much to be said about his drive for life, his desire for people to treat each other better, his go out and do attitude, and a desire to improve this world. And of course we can't forget the obvious lesson, to be taken away from this : be humble, be prepared.

1990 Alex graduated Emory University. After graduating, he had a remainder of 24,000 dollars left in his account that had been given to him by family for school. He signed over a check for that full amount to OXFAM American, a charity whose focus is on fighting hunger, something that Alex always had a heart for. “At long last he was unencumbered, emancipated from the stifling world of his parents and peers, a world of abstraction and security and material excess, a world in which he felt grievously cut off from the raw throb of existence” (p 18). Alex was on a search for a raw transcendental experience, in a Thoreauvian sort of sense. Alex was an itinerant, who made his way through Arizona, California, paddled down remote parts of the, Colorodo river, temporarily worked in South Dakota, and even ended up in Mexico. All through his journey he met many people, who often fed him and provided him aid. Alex was the type to make an impression on someone. The time had finally come for him to embark on what he called is Alaskan odyssey. He hitch hiked his way up to the Yukon territory and eventually into Fairbanks Alaska. Out into the bush he went, with minimal supplies and food. Setting camp in an old abandoned bus off stampede trail. He spent 4 months in solitude living off the land hunting and foraging for food. With him he had a 10-pound bag of rice, a semi-automatic rifle with 400 rounds of ammunition, a book of local plant life, several other books, and some camping equipment. He took pride in surviving with the minimal supplies. The 113 days spent in the bush, he kept a diary of some sort, high lighted passages from some of his favorite books, and inscribed to do lists. It appears that Alex was planing on rejoining society, he had come to the realization that“happiness only real when shared.” Life took a turn for the worst however.

From reading the book and looking on the internet, his cause of death is a debate. While Kraukauer would have us believe that Alex died from ingesting seeds that may have contained alkoloids, which are sometimes produced even by non toxic foods, such as the wild potato which he had been eating for a while now. Even though the wild potato is not toxic, the seeds could have been the possible cause of his demise. The problem with this theory however is that no toxins were found in Alex's autopsy. The most probable cause is starvation. The game he had been hunting was lean, he probably died of what is called rabbit starvation. It is so stupid, how relatively close civilization was to magic bus. Alex however for practical purposes was cut off from the rest of the world. “The bush is an unforgiving place, however , that cares nothing for hope or longing.” Pg 6

According to the moral absolutism which Alex adopted, a challenge in which a successful outcome is assured isn't much of a challenge (p 125). Alex saw the world in black and white. If I can characterize Alex, one thing for sure is that he is immature. For being the type of person that loves others, he failed to show forgiveness towards his family. Alex had six half siblings from his father's previous marriage. Alex however did not find this out till later. His father had led a double life, he remained with his previous wife while at the same time living with Alex's mom. Alex was hurt by the fact that his father's time love and affection was shared by a whole other family, which his father failed to mention and even tried hiding it. I don't think Alex ever forgave his father. In a way I can understand Alex. My father has done things that when I was younger I didn't think I could forgive him for. This however did me no good. I also understand Alex's longing for people treating each other better. One lesson I have taken away from my life however is that helping out starts out in your own home, with your own family. Forgive those you are close to, and love them. It is important not to give up on the world, and to have faith in people.

If you haven't read the book or seen the movie, I would really encourage you to see it. Alex is an interesting character.

sources
"Into the Wild", by Jon Krakauer
2007 Sean Penn film "Into the Wild"
Wikipedia