Changing the world with banana bread

I have perfected a banana bread recipe. I love making banana bread, it is so moist, yummy, sweet and nutritious. Makes a great snack, or lunch. The browner the bananas are, the yummier it is.

I have been doing a lot of growing these last few days. Or at least I hope so. I have had several realizations. I can now understand why God loves children, it is because of their faith, sometimes they have more faith than adults do.

I saw this movie, and it was just a tear jerker. I cried like 5 times in that movie. Now you see, I don't like to cry, but I sure am good at it. God gave us emotions so we could feel them, but it is when these emotions take control of you that you are trouble. So any way, about this movie, it didn't help that it was based on a true story. The movie is called "Letters to God," I really enjoyed watching this movie, another in the same vein is "The Encounter."

I had been feeling down lately, I am a very impatient person, if one thing I know I have to learn to master is patience. You see I am waiting for something big from God, so I have to make sure my dreams don't die. Sometimes its hard to dream because we are placed in situations that make us think that our dream is not possible any more, or we may feel as if it will take forever to reach our goals. But if we ask for the right things, do God's will, then he will give us our hearts desires.

  God blessed me with a husband with big patience, and a great heart, I love him and am glad to be married to him. But you see, God has blessed me in so many ways, it has made we want to reach out to the world and help heal it from its wounds. Previously I had just been waiting anxiously, and it made me blind to all my other blessings, and answered prayers. So I have prayed for creativity, so that I can recruit people for Jesus. I figured, that while I wait and look forward to more blessings, and to living the purpose the Lord has set for me, I might as well do what I love doing: banana bread. So If you read my blog, and you would like me to send you some of my delicious Banana Bread, please feel free to e-mail me your name and address. Until next time.

Cheers
Wild Flower

Gibberish and random thoughts

What makes us human? Is it the need to be understood, listened to, acknowledged? Is it to have a sense of purpose and accomplishment, curiosity? Does being more than physical matter, something much more that can't be measured, or quantified: soul and spirit, the distinguishing factor that makes us human? Or maybe it is the mere vastness of emotions that a human being can feel. Could it be the complexity of our entire being what qualifies us as human?

To know that no one else can ever know exactly what you are thinking, observe what you are seeing, feel what you are feeling, except yourself, and the holy spirit. But if the Lord lives within us, then technically aren't we the only observers of what is going on? Aren't we all just searching, for a commonality, for a common origin, for something that just IS.

Life is smoother, when we remain in unity, when we stop differentiating, and categorizing and labeling things.

Have you ever gone to that place, the loneliest place ever, you have your hand stretched out to the heavens, and you feel so tiny, no one can see you, hear you, understand you, but you take comfort in the vastness of the sky. In the vastness of IT ALL. You remember, that this too shall pass, for the Earth, and the physical body is but a temporary state, a temporary place, we are just passing by. This feeling, too shall pass, this event, this day, will pass.

One day we will know it all. All our questions, the ones asked and the ones to be asked, will be answered. We will long no more, for we will just BE. We will no longer pass, but we will just BE.

The Human DYSFUNCTION

I don't wish to discredit our advancement in so many areas of life, nonetheless what has brought about this advancement has also caused the perpetuation of the ego. This in turn has brought about much evil; destruction to this Earth, ourselves, animals , other human beings, etc . We have traded personal attention for efficiency. This land we live in is riddled with crime and disease. Surely we have found a cure for many diseases,; we have created antibiotics. We have also created, stronger strands, and other possible diseases, excessive drug use, among many things. We have disrupted the Earth's flow.

I often find myself, living in ways of the past. Surely I live in 2011, but my spirit is in earlier times. I sometimes like doing things the old fashioned way. I like being able to make my own bread, in mixing things by hand. I take joy in planting my own vegetables, in making things from scratch. Its as if trying to remain as pure and as close as we can to rawness. finding the nature in things. I don't want to say that I don't enjoy today's commodities, I do, but I have also taken an appreciation of what used to be good, I have taken an appreciation for the unity of things, and feeling the soul in everything that surrounds us. These feelings have been brought about with, 25 years of living, the many people I have met, and the many books I have read. One such book that has especially made me reflect on these type of idea is A New Earth, awakening to your life's purpose, by Eckhart Tolle. Tolle believes that transcendence of our egos can bring about great personal happiness, and a major ingredient in ending conflict through out of the world. Based on these ideas and inspired by this book, i have written the following poem.

Ego

No you are not one of these or many of these.

Not thoughts of who you are,a description of yourself,

nor a list of abilities, make YOU.

Thoughts, forms, roles, abilities and disabilities,

doctrines, ideologies, political systems, and institutions do not make YOU.

It is merely the ego's claim for power and identity.

It is justification of being right, and a separation from everything that IS.

All the things that you believe to make you who you are,

have no form, no presence.

Having presence can only be had in the present, in the NOW.

War and conflict are caused by the ego's search for power.

In judging others, the ego is glorified, and given applause.

We believe to be right, morally superior, and somehow,

in the right to feel this way.

Only recognition of the ego and self awareness can unite us all.

Feeling the COMMON HUMANITY,

Unity with everything animate and non living,

feeling omnipotence with God.

The cure for this collective human dysfunction, is awareness.

Eliminate those boundaries that the ego creates.

My, mine, attachment and identification with material things, labels, and ideas,

causes separation from others, and a downward spiral,

into perpetuation, and retribution, action and reaction.

It is the rejection of something greater , something inherent in us all

a common humanity.

The ABSOLUTE TRUTH.

giving soul to our everyday work

When we care for our soul we consider all aspects of life, including ordinary, mundane house work. In doing work whether it be at the office, at the home, cooking or doing laundry, taking care of the kids, or giving the dog a bath, they all mount up to the cultivation of ordinary things by nurturing the soul. Jean Hall, and astrologer and therapist from Baltimore lectures on the soul of housework. She believes that if we denigrate the work that is to be done around the house everyday , we lose our attachment to our immediate world. Give housework a place of dignity in your life (Care of the Soul, by Thomas Moore).

We tend to overlook the way that soulfulness can be observed in ordinary housework, and the gifts it provides the soul. We miss out when we do our daily housework without care or contemplation or let others do it for us. In addition it can give us a sense of loneliness or homelessness.

Creativity can take on many forms, in making our homes, raising the children or at work, by fabricating a culture we are all being creative. By giving soul to our work, we see a reflection of ourselves in the world. “The whole point of life is the fabrication of soul. Work is an extension or reflection of yourself. Nicholas Cusa and Coleridge after him describes human creativity as “a participation in the act of God creating the cosmos, we create the micro-cosmos- the human world.” “Not only do we view most work as ordinary, repetitious and democratic, but we also tend to dismiss its creativity.” Bringing soul into our work is not reserved only to the brilliant minds, or who we tend to call the artist.” “In ordinary life creativity means making something for the soul out of every experience.” When we create things we can step back and contemplate our work. We can feel a surge of pride. “Where there is no artfulness about life, there is a weakening of soul.” “The problem with modern manufacturing is not lack of efficiency, but a loss of soul.” For those who are religious, we can worship God by doing the dishes or cleaning or cooking. When I’m not in the mood for cleaning or doing work, I sometimes tell myself, do it as an act of worship and reflect on the Lord. 

I understand that sometimes we tend to confine ourselves into the male/female roles, or the breadwinner and the homemaker. Both men and women participate in both roles, but usually we tend to  dominant in one role. I would recommend however that one person in a relationship should NOT always assume the same role. Both partners should have the opportunity to participate in both roles because we can miss out on opportunities in nurturing the soul and creating art if we always assume the same role.

I understand the feeling of the ordinariness of everyday work especially in the household, we tend to see this kind of work as chores. If you can take a step back however and contemplate the work you do, put some love or creativity into your work, I bet you would lose some of the feeling of that associated with doing work. Rather than seeing it as just work, see it as a way to be creative, as a way to reflect yourself through objects and actions.

The reason why I write about this topic is that I have come to appreciate womanhood and the making of the home. Lately I have been doing a lot of cooking, as I mentioned before I enjoy cooking, and seeing others enjoy my food gives me some pride. Doing laundry, or washing the dishes, gives me a sense of satisfaction. I read in a 1892 everyday cook book, that no woman should be getting married if they do not know how to cook. In Spanish there is a similar saying women will often say to younger women, “oh you can now get married” after they have cooked a nice big meal. In that same book I also read that unselfish mothers or wives make selfish partners or children. It is important that we also give ourselves some time, the we also treat ourselves to good things. A mother for example may go on wearing the same old dress just so she can buy her daughter a new dress. That is fine, however , we should reserve some selfishness.

  Sometimes I do not like being a woman, having to go through a period every month, and then the idea of bearing children, its all very painful, but with it also brings great joy. Having the ability to create life, and being able to carry life in the womb, just reminds me of the strength of woman, and the gifts that God gave us. I am developing my creativity as a woman, taking part in activities such as cooking, baking, sewing, doing laundry, doing dishes, painting among many things. I remember growing up as a child and my mom always made me grocery shop with her, always had me help her with dinner. As an adult I can now appreciate all these things she made me do, it gives me satisfaction that I can make a home, take care of dinner, or things around the house. I try not to see these things as just work, but a medium through which I can express myself. 

 For those of you that don't know, my husband and I moved to Missouri. We are staying with one of his friends, who also happens to be a trucker. In the short amount of time that I have been here, I have come to appreciate the importance of everyday work. His friend's wife's kitchen is like a playroom for a kid. She has so many gadgets and tool and fun machines, that make cooking fun. She has a collection of older gadgets used in the kitchen, she has a great selection of books, that range in anything from cleaning, to cooking, and anything one can imagine a homemaker doing. These books are awesome they give you tips and advice how to take care of the home, and the family, things that books now a days don't really include. Such things include, how to dress, how to remove stains, how to be a lady, how to raise your kids etc. I have learned several things from her, and I have created a bond with a female. I know I have trouble keeping in touch with people, and sometimes I feel distanced from my friends, but when you have roommates, especially of the same sex, it allows you to open up and trust, get advice, and learn. I thankful for the way my mom raised me and all that she taught me. I am thankful for my new friend as well, being away from my parents and family gets to me sometimes, but having someone there to act as a mother, or father figure or just a good friend can help you relieve the feeling of homelessness, and being far away from your family. 

Until I get my immigration situation fixed and can get a professional job, I am going to enjoy being a homemaker, and making the most of my time, for when work and children come along, it makes taking care of things more difficult. I might as well learn to do those daily things, cooking, cleaning, and learn to make it effortless, so that when the job and the children come along, I can overcome the challenge of all those different roles; bringing in money, being a wife, being a mom and taking care of my home. I have come to take pride in the work I do, not only as a woman but as an artist, as a wife and as a student of life, home and the family. The next step is learning the role of the mother, but that wont be for a while now.To all the mothers, homemakers, maids, and people who care for their homes and family may you be blessed.
[sources- Care of the soul by Thomas Moore , The Everyday Cook book by Miss E. Neal copyright year 1892]

No preaching

Before I post any further blogs, I would like to remind my readers of the purpose of my blog. Sometimes I feel a sense of arrogance or even righteousness in what I am expressing, my thoughts ideas or beliefs, this however is not intentional. I apologize for any haughty overtones that may be interpreted in my writing. My message is sometimes presented as an imperative, or even as urging advice. I would ask my readers that in reading my posts they keep their minds open, read with imagination but also with a discerning eye. Sometimes I try to convey more than one thing in my writing, sometimes it is layered. I also noticed that my posts lately have been religion or faith based. I am not here for the purpose of proselytizing, if in my writing it incites one to delve into their religion or Christianity, then good for them. As a Christian I know that we must share the word of the Lord and in a sense be missionaries. I am a growing Christian, and I have much to learn. I am not prepared yet to proselytize. I am here however to share my journey with you as a person who is is cultivating the soul. I post things that are important to me, things that stir me, things I wonder about, things that are beautiful. I try and share my love of learning, and this world with others. Right now this blog is my choice of medium for my art. I would hope that my writing not only helps me reflect on my thoughts and the world, but that it may also give something back to the reader. I realized that I felt a sense of pretense or a feeling as if I was preaching when I started thinking about the things I write about. It is easy to talk the talk but can I walk the walk? I can post my ideas and how I believe things should be approached, my only concern is that I must practice what I proclaim. In a sense I sometimes get scared that one day I may fail when the Lord puts me to the test. This feeling can be understood in reading Job. The reason for my mentioning of Job is that Job, is a person in the Bible, who was blameless and upright in the Lords eye. Job was blessed. Satan however went to the Lord and said, if the Lord were to instill fear in him and take all he has, that he would surely curse God. The Lord then said to Satan, everything is in your hands but do not lay a finger on the man himself. “Naked I cam from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised (Job, 1:20). Job endured yet a second test, the angels and Satan came to God. God spoke to Satan you incited me to ruin him without reason, yet he is still blameless and upright and shuns evil. Satan then replied, “a man will give all he has for his own life. But Stretch out your hand and strike his flesh and bones , and he will surely curse you to your face.” Job 2:4 the Lord then replied to Satan, “very well then he is in your hands, but you must spare his life.” So Satan went on and caused Job all sorts of pain. Still he did not curse the Lord, but the day he was born. Jobs friends tried to reason with him and make him confess his sin. They believed that there had to be reason why he had been such misfortune. They failed to acknowledge that suffering does not always serve the purpose of punishment, and therefore upright people, innocent people too suffer. Where Job did sin however is in his self righteousness, in refusing to accept that harm happens even to good people, and challenging God for doing what he did. God is almighty and powerful. A creation, cannot be more pure than its creator. For reasons unknown to us, for reasons we cannot understand, things are done for a reason, and our comprehension cannot encompass Gods reasoning in his actions. What is to be taken from this then is that I hope that the day I am put to the test, I hope my faith will be strong. That I may remember that I am blessed, because “blessed are the poor in spirit, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to them.... blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness, blessed are the meek, blessed are the merciful (Matthew 5:1-13). So as a reader I only ask of you one thing, to read, reflect, and if anything moves you, whether you agree or disagree, to please share with me your thoughts. I have an appreciation for dialogue, and when people express their ideas or beliefs and back them up with reason, logic, a story or even the heart, it allows us all to learn a bit more about this world. I am not here to preach, even thought I have considered ministry, I am not here to advise you on things; as I said I am on a spiritual journey and taking time to care for the soul, I merely share my thoughts and ideas with the audience for the sake of self refection, dialogue and that if a reader can ever relate, may they find some comfort in my words.

A prayer for a stranger

One question that has been asked by many, and something I still struggle with is the idea of why God lets bad things happen. I wrote a previous blog on this subject, and showed the Tom Honey video. I still don't have a definite answer. One thing I would argue however is that we brought on ourselves all these problems, wars, disease etc. Why is it that we are always quick to look for scapegoat, or find some other reason for our mishaps? It is easier to blame and question God than to take action. What have we done instead to try and fix these world problems, what have you done?

Selfishness in my view is the reason for many of our problems. The other day while watching “The Stoning of Sorya,” I began to think. It isn't fair, that some people are born to certain families, culture and religion. Some may even argue that those people are at fault because they are not believers of Christ, and for those that think Christianity is the “right” religion may be quick to respond, that they are practicing the wrong religion. But honestly lets ask ourselves, what about those that don't have the opportunity to hear about Jesus, what about those that have no choice but to be enslaved to their culture, beliefs, social norms, and religions? I cannot reconcile the fact that those who know the difference between good and bad and are morally strong and who believe in something other greater than themselves, and who are selfless, will go to hell.

So how do we rid ourselves of all the corruption in the world, all the wrong, pain and suffering. I do not have an immediate solution. I do know however that we can pray. Have you ever tried praying for someone else? Have you ever tried praying for someone you don't know? I don't know about you, but I find it a bit challenging to pray honestly and and unselfishly for others. It is easy to pray for someone we know, we pray for them because not only may it benefit them, but it benefits us. We want to see those we love and care about happy. I would like to challenge you to pray for someone who is not related to you, someone who is not a friend, pray for a complete stranger. Don't just mutter out words and ask for something but truly want and ask for what you think someone may need. For those who are Christians, I challenge you to pray for non believers, to pray that they have the opportunity to hear of Jesus Christ, to pray that we have the strength to share the Lord's word with others, and share his love.

Lord please give us the wisdom, the strength and the love to communicate and share your word and love with others. Give us the opportunity to fix the wrong in this world, to ease the pain. We pray for those that are destitute, those that don't know you, those that don't believe in anything but themselves. Help them look beyond religion, culture, tradition, and may you restore a heart that reaches out to humanity, may their hearts be filled with your love, rather than a mind with the idea that their religion is better than any another religion or that their God is the right God. In the end, we know that you are God almighty, and whether they call you by the name of Allah, the Buddha, Chrishna, vishnu, or Shiva, or any other religious or spiritual figure, I know that you are up their, and for those that believe in right and wrong for those that reach out to their fellow human, even if practicing some other religion other than Christianity they too will be given the opportunity to get to know you Lord, and they too will have a chance for redemption. I refuse to believe that just because a person is a Muslim or any other religion, that he is going to go to hell. If you are a God of love, and fairness, then you will watch over your children. You will guide us and instruct us. Lord there are still good people left on this Earth, please be patient with us. For those of us that know you are up there, I ask you to give us guidance, strength, wisdom, love, and patience to help change this world, Amen.

How were we made in the image of God?

And God said, let us mmake man in our image, after our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth , and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon earth. So God created man in his [own] image, in image of God created he him; male and female, created he them. Genesis 1:26-27 KJV

I was reading the bible yesterday, and a thought came to mind. I wanted to understand how is it that God made us in his image. In what way are we like God. Are we like him, physically? That can't be, he is not made of matter like we are. Could it be intellectually, well he is all knowing, we are not. He is all powerful, we are not. I am trying to understand how is it that We are like God, if we are sinners, and crave knowledge and power that we don't have?

The best answer I can come up with was that we were made in his image in that we have dominion over other animals. We have more knowledge, wisdom, a wider range of emotions, can entertain more than one thought or feeling at a time. Also we serve a specific purpose. So God rules over us, knows more than us, and can entertain all those different feelings, he also has purpose and that is to rule over us.

The other thing to consider is what about the tree of knowledge. We can say, well we were like God, up until the we were tempted and ate from that tree of knowledge. But if we ate from it, we either one did not have the knowledge and craved it, or two we were not strong enough like God to resist temptation, so again, how is it that we were made in his image. I know that maybe this is over-analyzing something, and maybe I'm generalizing too much, but I am just trying to understand, how it is we are like him, and take that and learn, so that we can be better people, better children of God.

If any one has any comments, or ideas, I would love to hear them.

painted smiles

Depression, loneliness, neediness, how we view these is relative. These are feelings that should be embraced, rather than rejected. I am bothered by the fact that our society quickly jumps to try and “fix” what necessarily may not be broken. Our society thinks that it is wrong or that it is bad if you feel sad, depressed, are needy, or take any other quality that we may see as negative. Our view of psychology has become so shallow. We forget that when it comes to matters of the soul and the psyche,there is no quick fix, or band aid to be placed over the wound. Often times there isn't anything to fix. A mere observation of our physical body, its ailments, and observation of our feelings, can give us much insight into what is needed. I have been reading Thomas Moore's, Care of the soul. I would really recommend this book to any one who wishes to care for their body, their soul and their overall well being.

There have been many days when I felt as if I had to paint on a smile everyday, because I could not show my true face, my true feelings, I didn't think it was right to show my sadness. One thing I learned from this book however, is that it is important that we take time to feel these feelings, even the negative ones. We must not cover them up or try to fix them, but spending some time in feeling them, may just be what is needed. A gust of melancholy is good every now and then. These feelings, help us understand how we can care for ourselves. It is ok to feel depressed. The question then is not what can I do to get rid of this depression, rather what is causing this sadness. Take time to analyze your feelings, and take time to feel them. In a similar vein, is the idea of spirituality. For those that believe in God, sometimes its hard to feel his presence, we may feel that he has left us, or may not listen to our prayers. I think it is important to feel this emptiness or loneliness at time, because only when we feel these can we truly feel his presence, and can our faith truly grow. Take Mother Teresa for example, for a big part of her life she struggled with her faith. She felt abandoned by God. Yet we view Mother Teresa as someone who is holy, and have even started the process of sanctification. Some one who dedicated her life to tend to the sick and the destitute, tell me how can one not feel abandoned, hurt and alone, being surrounded by suffering, disease, hunger etc.

Lets embrace what we call negative feelings, we must not forget that there needs to be a balance. We cannot feel happiness unless we know what suffering is.

My mind is like a field of butterflies, I stand there, watch them flutter by, if only I could catch one. So many ideas, thoughts, so many constructions of the imagination, with no way to materialize them, or bring them to life, no way to share them with the world. Sometimes my thoughts feel trapped in a cell I call my head. If I could just somehow artistically bring them forth. There is so much to learn and to discover, so little time. Its overwhelming almost, how much there is yet to discover. I sometimes wish my brain could just absorb everything. Instead I take in book by book, movie by movie, song by song, situation by situation, conversation by conversation, what there is to learn from them. Slowly, painfully, I tread through the great library we call the universe.

My tattoos

I know topics on personal blogs aren't always that interesting, unless you are Charlie Sheen, or Oprah and follow the news and gossip. Today however I am writing a personal blog, that explains my tattoos. I always believed that I would only ever get a tattoo for something that I truly believed or was symbolic to me in some sort of way. Both tattoos were my ideas, the puzzle pieces however were drawn by someone else.

My first tattoo I got was summer of 2008. This tattoo I got at a very difficult time in my life. It is a phrase, which I felt like I lived each day, and even to this day it holds true. Of course this phrase has a double meaning. I also thought that the location, size and simplicity of the tattoo was important. This tattoo is in the middle of my upper back.

During this period in my life I was going through a lot, trying to deal with depression, stress, and a slew of other things. I felt very alone in the world, I felt that I couldn't count on anyone, even my friends and family, I felt like they had left me down. I felt that the only being I had left in this world was God. On the other hand, everything I do have is because of God, which means he embodies it all. So God is all I have. 

My second tattoo I got was late Fall of '09. I actually had class that day, but I felt like the world was crumbling under me. That semester, depression had taken over again. I felt I needed a way to get out all these feelings and some how dissipate this storm with in me, with out hurting myself. I had some thoughts on my next tattoo a few months before. I thought about my feelings, life, and all the pieces that complete my life. I thought to myself, life is pretty much a puzzle. One  whose pieces you must find and assemble.  The first aspect I thought, was that of God. Spirituality has always been a big thing in my life, it is my hope. Today I do call myself a Christian. So not only does the cross represent God or something bigger than me, but it represents the search for my path or what God put me on this earth to do. Love and relationships were another part of the circle of life and something that is important to me. I also wanted to represent my love for this world. A heart would fulfill this idea. The next thing that was important to me is self growth and identity. Finding out who I truly am and giving that to the world, I am the only one of me. I thought of what symbols can represent identity, I thought of finger prints, but those were to small to depict in a tattoo, the next best thing was a hand print, so that would also be included on my tattoo. One thing I have often felt in my life is emptiness, it could be emptiness in relationships, jobs, life in general; it could feel as if there is something missing. I decided to draw two figures, one is a man, who is filled in, and next to him is a woman, who is not filled with color. This represents the fulfillment of that emptiness with in. It also represents man and woman, good and evil, a yin and yang sort of way. The last piece of the puzzle has the icon of a smiley face. Accomplishing or fulfill all those other things represented by the other pieces of the puzzle will lead to the piece that completes the puzzle, the ultimate goal, happiness.

Each piece actually fits perfect with all the other pieces, if they were to be cut out and put together. This tattoo covers most of my forearm.

Left and Right

Negative perceptions of the word left include anarchy, feelings that are out of conscious, bad immoral and dangerous, where as the right is expressed more favorably with reference to what is good, trustworthy, moral and proper. If looked up in the dictionary, synonyms for left handed, according to dictionary.com include: clumsy, awkward, sinister, insincere, and synonyms for right handed include:correct, indispensable, dexter, good, and moral. These associations however are intentional. A Bias towards the right specifically with that to handedness, and how the world makes use of it as a comparison, can be attributed to several things.

In the book Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain, Betty Edwards provides us with some insight into how this use of comparison and preference for the right came about. Edwards first comments on different languages and how doubtlessly left and right are so. The Latin word for left is, sinister, meaning bad, whereas the Latin word for right is, dexter meaning dexterity, skill, adroitness. On a side note, I wonder if this is the reason they gave the protagonist in the tv show of the blood spatter analyst the name of Dexter. Dexter one would say kills with skill, preciseness, always planned, yet ironically enough, he follows a specific code, one in which we empathize with him, for trying to right the wrong. Not saying that what he does is right, that's a different topic up for debate. It can be interpreted this way however. French is another language in which the word right is expressed favorably over left. In French, the word for left is: gauche, which means awkward. The French word for right is droit, meaning good, just and proper. In English, the Anglo- Saxon lyft, means weak, worthless, and also meant as a reflection of lack of moral strength. This defamatory use of left, is clearly a reflection of a right handed majority, shunning the difference of those who are left-handed and reinforces the bias for reht meaning right and just (pg 36-37)

Not only through the use of language is this bias or comparison seen. Edwards further comments on how some 19^th century discoveries including that of Jerre Levy, have come to express preference of the hemisphere responsible for language, logic, and responsible for the right side of our body. Jerre Levy, in his studies, found that the left hemisphere (dominates right side of body) is responsible for analyzing, abstraction, counting. It is the hemisphere that marks the time, plans step by step procedures, is responsible for verbalization, and makes use of rationale based on logic. The right hemisphere of the brain is imaginary, things exist only in the minds eye. It is with this hemisphere that we understand metaphors, the hemisphere with which we dream, new combination of ideas is created with the right hemisphere. We understand space and relational ideas and can create a whole; in other words the right side is responsible for the non verbal and global. Given the importance of language to our species, the left hemisphere, which is responsible for the right side of the body, was therefore named the dominant, leading or the major hemisphere of the brain. Let me reiterate here; the left side of the brain controls the right side of the body.

In many cultures, right handedness is practiced. Not only are kids retaught to write with their right hands if expressing left-handedness, but this preference can also be seen even in the way people eat. In some cultures it is proper etiquette to eat with the right hand. Politics is another realm in which the left and right comparison is used. In politics for example, the right wing approves of national power, it is conservative and resist change, left wingers advocate individual autonomy and promote change. Another example is how we shake hands, we use the right hand to shake. The way we express comparison sometimes makes reference to left and right, “on the one hand....., but on the other hand...” is a common expression used in our language.

The following table makes use of this comparison. It shows the parallel ways of knowing. The whole chart can be found on pg 37 in Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain.

intellect	intuition
convergent	divergent
digital	analogic
secondary	primary
abstract	concrete
directed	free
propositional	imaginative
analytical	relational

Further explaining the two hemispheres, Edwards informs us that these two hemispheres work with each other, each doing their part, doing what each is good at, often times however the left hemisphere (the logical and verbal part), will dominate the other half and the other hemisphere follows. It is not necessarily bad that one hemisphere dominates at times, but it is important however that each is allowed to perform the job it was made for, and that one hemisphere not try to do the job of the other, knowingly that the other hemisphere may be better at that specific job. Edwards explains it this way:

“These terms must have been made up by some person's left hemisphere; the left hemisphere calling the right hemisphere bad names, the right brain labeled, pin pointed and buttonholed was with out language of its own to defend itself.” Edwards p 37

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I am trying to teach myself how to draw, and in reading the book Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain, I came across the idea of accessing the right side of the brain. In accessing the right side of the brain or the non dominant side of the brain, we can perceive things more globally and in space, allowing us to draw more accurately for better lack of the word. It allows us to truly understand the different dimensions and allows us to make use of the side that is needed for drawing.

Side note:

If we think about it, even to this day there is preference given for the right side. Consider computer labs and other public areas, most of the time they are designed for right handedness. If you go to a computer lab, most likely the mice will be on the right side. It is easier to find right handed items such as scissors, guitars or what have you. Yes it is easier to access some of these items, now a days but those who are left handed, are the ones who have to go out of their way to change the settings of items, or to get an item specifically designed for lefties. Right is seen as the default, or the normal based on the majority of a population being right handed.

Except for the side notes, most of these ideas and information is taken from: The New Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain, by Betty Edwards , 1999

Drawings

An ability that I always wished I had is drawing and painting. I am not good at either one however. I just always considered myself a bad artist and with no talent what soever for art. Anyway, I decided to teach my self to draw, by just trial and error. I picked up a book called Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain, by Betty Edwards hopefully7 I can pick up some pointers, and well just pick it up I guess. I think the way we see an object or the subject to be depicted, really matters. How we see something, really matters to how we draw something. The space relationship must be considered, proportion, shadow, etc. Anyway, here are my first drawings, even if my drawing doesn't get better, I'm sure these drawings will at least get some hahas. 

day 1 of drawings

rEtEnTiOn

Like the wind crying endlessly through the universe, Time carries away the names and the deeds of conquerors and commoners alike. And all that we are, all that remains, is in the memories of those who cared we came this way for a brief moment. ~ Harlan Ellison

What would life be like if we could remember every single event in our life, every single day, every single minute. What would it be like if we could entertain every single thought or idea or image that appears in our vision and our imagination. Would this type of retention be a good thing or a bad thing?

Image found at: http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSvMJ3kPrYfFOWXsArWH-7tIOB_wRG4lQRWqzpAMNrU-T-EImFi&t=1

History is not a burden on the memory but an illumination of the soul. ~ John emerich Edward Adlberg Acton

When it comes to memories, we already selectively choose what we want to remember and repress those memories that haunt us, my guess is that its good that we don't remember everything. I think that if people remembered everything, people would be more inclined to be nice to each other, or it could be that people may hold grudges more often, it can go either way. Memories are such a great thing, they allow us to travel back into time, and relive those magic moments. I think that we can view memory as a defense mechanism. We remember the pain, we remember when we feel good, the love, whats amazing to our taste buds, and anything that moves us. Memory can help keep us safe. We are reminded of times maybe that we may have faced a similar situation, but now we can take a different route, and explore other options. Say you had an experience where you burned yourself while cooking, memories allow us to reflect on these events and allow us to be more cautious. Memory, what a great thing, the ability to place us somewhere, without physically being there. Memory is a mechanism that allows us to make connections with other beings. Sharing experiences and being able to look back, whether memories are good or bad, nonetheless it is a shared moment in time, that will always link you in some sort of sense with those who share in your memory.

Memory is good because it allows us to learn. Memory is a drive that allows us to relive moments in which we felt great, brave, honest, beautiful and so it gives us courage and a feeling of happiness, knowing that if we once achieved a particular thing, if we once felt that happiness, or beauty, then it can be felt again; finding that may be difficult, but knowing that it is possible, can give us great relief.

A man at work, making something which he feels will exist because he is working at it and will it, is exercising the energies of his mind and soul as well as of his body. Memory and imagination help him as he works. ~ William Morris

One thing I enjoy doing is recording, myself or others, just doing ordinary things. It is so cool being able to look back, and see our actions, emotions and ourselves in action.

What about thought and ideas, , what if we could retain every single though we ever have, what if we had some sort of device in our body that kept record of all our thoughts and ideas, and there would be some sort of engine through which we could search our ideas and thoughts. After all, humans are like libraries, full of knowledge, in various subjects, and different parts of life. Our minds are galleries that hold vivid images of people, art, and anything that can be seen with both the human eye and the imagination. 

click to englarge

 Image found at: http://www.austinkleon.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/memories_map_500px.gif

Friendship

Friend defined by dictionary.com is: a person known well to another and regarded with liking, affection, and loyalty. Friend is a word with Germanic origin. Freond, is the present participle of freon, which means to love. The root of the verb was ‘fri-’ which meant ‘to like, love, or be affectionate to (suite 101.com). Friend is a word that has stayed true to its original meaning, yet its overuse in our lexicon has diluted its meaning. Friendship is a very special relationship because one has choice over this type of relationship. One cannot choose their parents, brothers or sisters, yet, we can pick our friends. Friendship is also different in that it is reciprocal. In order for the friendship to work, both parties are responsible for its growth and maintenance. It is important to know who are friends are and be thankful for them, for they are a blessing. 

“It is mutual respect which makes friendship lasting.” ~ John Henry Newman 

 

A good friendship requires trust and loyalty. It is important to keep ones promises, and to be able to be counted on. Friends can be of many sorts. They can be different from us in race, gender, physical ability, sexual preference, social economic status, education level or age. I have been lucky enough to have friends of all walks of life. My friendship with different people has taught me so much. It has broaden my understanding of the world and other cultures, other societies and mentalities.

“Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” ~ Proverbs 27:6

It is important however to choose our friends wisely. I have observed that a common element among my friends is that they have a drive for becoming better people. They are good people who try and do what is right, in their life. They are kind, generous, and willing to help some one in need. A good friend will always tell you the truth, even if its painful. A good friend not only rejoices with you but will share your pains. A friend offers help even before you ask. Friends make us feel good about ourselves; they can make make us laugh, make us cry, and move us in so many ways. Friends are like little rays of sunshine, they warm our hearts and they warm our souls. A friendship is enlightening.

Don't take your friends for granted! I look back at various points in my life, where I wish I had been a better friend. One lesson I learned is: don't put your friendship with others on the back burner when you enter new relationships.

To all those I call friends, I am thankful for your friendship. I am glad you were all part of my life. I apologize if I ever did you wrong, and hope that our friendship continues to grow.

When was the last time you told a friend how much you appreciate them?

Image taken from Cherrybam.com

Not ready to clock out yet

Minutes turn to hours, hours to days and days into weeks. Stuck on an island waiting to be rescued. Waiting to live, waiting to die, waiting for a sign, waiting till hope runs out. There are times I feel spiritually weak. It is difficult to always put on a front, I cannot always be strong.. I grow weaker as time passes. Hope sometimes dwindles to a mere thread which my life hangs by. I wish at times that I was an eagle, or any other simple mind; no moral dilemmas, not much to strive for, your goal; to pass on your genes. Humans on the other hand are so complex; emotions, spiritually, hope, morality, a need for accomplishment. How is it that a person can have so much, yet be so tormented? Same token; how is it that those who are completely devastated and have nothing to lose, how can they know God? How can they know hope? I grow more tired each day, this journey is long, and winding, I cannot see the light, I cannot see the end. To reduce life to mere existence, how devastating.

Dear Lord, please just throw me a bone, give me a hint, give me something. God I lack not hope but courage. That thread of hope by which my life hangs, is a lot stronger than you would know, so please send no more hope; I would appreciate however if you send some courage. God, also please take this world back, its too heavy for me to carry. I don't want to be strong anymore, please teach me to ask for help. The human soul is a heavy and ruthless animal, one that must be treated with care, and respect. The human soul however is also delicate like glass,and easily shattered. Like stained glass however, beautiful with all its colors, should be shared with others. One alone cannot bear the pain.

Loosen up. Don't you have some people to hug, rocks to skip, or lips to kiss?... Someday you are going to retire, why not today? Not retire from your job, just retire from your attitude. Honestly, has complaining ever made the day better? has grumbling ever paid the bills? Has worrying about tomorrow ever changed it? Let someone else run the world for a while. ~ Everyday Blessings, Max Lucado

Share your talents with the world.

Another day passes, another day of existing. The days, weeks, months, are no longer distinct. No beginning, no end, a monotonous cycle; wake up, eat, shower, occupy the hours of the day. Day is night, and night is day. I know that in order for me and many more like me, to lead a happy life, one needs to be able to make use of their talents. One needs to be able to make this world a little better. One needs to feel like they make a difference. Mere existence for people like me just doesn't cut it. I get very depressed sometimes, because I feel like I'm just sitting here wasting my life away. Now a little something you must know before you start wondering, why I don't get up off my ass and so something. Well I am in a particular situation that does not allow me to work, drive, or do many things that people take for granted. Yes this situation is supposed to be fixed soon, but its kind of hard without money. Its hard to get much done with two jobless people. I get very impatient, you can even say I get itchy feet. I want to go out and do, I want to create, I want to make this world better. One thing I have learned, is that its a poison, to live life as a cynic. I know every once in a while I fall into that trap, and its just easier to complain about things, easier to mope, its easier to feel sorry for yourself. The days pass, and each day get heavier. Maybe I should read my previous blog about complaining, ha.

Today's blog is about sharing your talents with the world and living a life you love. Only when we start doing what we were put on this earth to do, can we really start living.

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you game me.'” ~ Erma Bombeck

The world is a better place, when people are happy, fulfilled and passionate about life and their work. Lynn A. Robinson, in her book Divine Intuition, explains three key factors in creating a life we love. The first step is to identify your dream, secondly, visualize your success, and thirdly move in the direction of your dream. Now you may think that it is difficult to reconcile what we like doing, and making a living out of it. I have actually read several books on authors who end up doing what they are passionate about, some examples include Peggy McColl, Lynn A. Robionson, . If you love fashion for example, why not start making your own clothes, start out small, redesign stuff you already have. If you love writing, why not start a blog. The important part is taking a first step.

God honestly must have a good sense of humor. It's funny how things turn out sometimes. Sometimes its these difficult situations, that give us insight or nudge us in the right direction. Even though I have a bachelors degree in French and Philosophy, and I have a masters degree in higher education, yet I still am not sure what I am supposed to do with my life. I am not even sure what my gifts and talents are. I have an idea of what I am good at, but I am unsatisfied with my current state of affairs, and by that I mean my contribution to this world. I have mentioned in a previous blog of maybe going into ministry, my problem with that is that one, I don't feel like a good enough person, two I want to know for sure that this is the right thing to do and that it is what God wants me to do. Lastly I don't want to take on a project just to add to my life's bookcase of things that will sit there and gather dust. I can think of many more reasons why not to do it, but then when I ask my pastor about this, he sees it as a good sign. In fact many clergy people have expressed this feeling of not being fit for the job. I honestly don't know where my life is going. All I hope is that cynicism doesn't make too deep of wounds before I get the opportunity to start doing what I want to do; what ever that is and whenever I figure out what it is. Lesson here people, be creative, share your talents, do what you love doing, invest some emotional labor and make art!

The constants in life

Time and change are to the universe, as food and drink are to a human beings. Time and change are constants. Time and change are infinite rulers; they are absolute. We have clocks because it portrays a physical, mechanical manifestation of the evanescent. it serves as an instrument for measurement. The clock changes, as time passes, yet it is always the same, unless your batteries are low, 3 o'clock will always be at three o'clock. The hands will change positions, just like you change locations. The impression left by these changes, mark the constancy of time. Time has always been a fascinating topic to me. I have come across several ways in which time is understood. The two I will talk about today is: task orientation labor practiced amongst the Lakota Indians, and labor measured by that of a clock, and secondly through a survey of the dreams that Einstein may have had. The second part are all ideas taken from: Einsteins Dream, a book by Alan Lightman. This book is a series of short fictitious essays, on what Einstein may have been dreaming while working on his theory of relativity. Great book, I would really recommend it.

One class project I had to complete while at U of I, was to research several aspects of a people as a whole. Our group was assigned Native Americans. Things that were to be included in the project were: the labor force, education, economy, religious aspects, culture, family life etc. My part in the project was to understand their economy. One article I came across explained how Lakota Indians in the Pine Valley Ridge reservation allocate their time between clock-based wage jobs and task-oriented forms of production governed by social relationships (Pickering, 2004).

When capitalism was brought about, there had been a shift from task force, to labor timed by the clock . For Lakota Indians, time is not marked by the clock, rather the passage of events, is their instrument of time measurement. Lakota Indians don't assign times for specif things, rather events themselves, and the relationships built on these events mark the time, mark the speed one should work at, mark the activity itself. This sort of task orientation, shows little demarcation between work and life. Production is not separated from necessities of life. All forms of production are integrally related to the social relationships that surround that production (Pickering, 2004). Clock time on the other hand, as that practiced by capitalist regimes, is transformed from a quality of human life into a quantified commodity removed from its social dimension. It becomes an economic variable used in exchange value (Pickering, 2004).

This journal article gave me a sense of sadness with the way our institutions have diminished our lives and our bodies to robot like living, in which our bodies are to be ordered around, deadlines to be met, life merely to exist, rather than live.

************************************************************************************

Moving on to a different way of understanding time, Alan Lightman, writes a compilation of fictitious essays which portray Einstein during his time of writing the theory of relativity. The different essays, posit different worlds and time is constructed differently in each.

In one of the worlds, time is circular, so that people experience the same events, time and again, but without knowledge of doing so.

In another world he posits a society that has built houses on stilts on mountains. Brought about by the idea that the farther you are from the center of the earth, the slower time passes, and therefore to maintain their youth, they build these houses up high. These people have even convinced themselves that thin air like that in the mountains is good , with that same logic they take up spare diets, taking up only the most gossamer food. As a result this population has become “thin like the air, bony, old before their time (p. 24).”

In a different world, cause and effect are erratic. Cause does not necessarily presume effect. In this world a law has been made so that pistols may not be sold to the public. This world is ripped by the worst crimes. It seems as though these crimes have been misplaced in time, or is it that because of these crimes that the laws were made. Were the laws, action or reaction? People here live in the moment, for each act is an island in time. It is a world of sincerity, for it is not known which is cause, or effect, so all you have is the present. (p.30)

Yet, another world is described by two times. Mechanical time, and body time. Mechanical is rigid, unyielding, predetermined, while body time responds with an attitude of living accordingly to the rhythm of their bodies. In mechanical time, peoples body is merely a machine, it is a thing to be ordered rather than obeyed. “Where the two times meet, desperation, where the two times go their separate way, contentment” (p. 21).

In yet a different world, little happens from year to year, month to month, day to day. If one is to characterize time by the passage of events, then time hardly moved, but if these two are not the same, then it is the people who barely move (p. 36).

These were just a few of the many worlds and their view of time posited in the book.

As I said before Einsteins Dream is an excellent book, if you have a chance you should read it. Its short and easy to read. I have included a video of someones class project, based on the book. I have also included the website, that gives a book review, a video explanation of Einstein's Theory, and other interesting information.

Sources

-Einstein's Dream by Alan Lightman

-Decolonizing Time Regimes, Lakota conceptions of work economy and society. by Kathleen Pickering

- http://www.squidoo.com/einsteins-dreams

Forward, Together Forward 2-14-08

During my time at NIU, our school experienced and event that marked our hearts. Three years ago, today, 6 people lost their lives at NIU. A gun man opened fire in a classroom, and killed five people, and himself. A day of love, turned into a day of sorrow. Today, is a day of reflection and remembrance. We will never forget you.

Here is a short video tribute I found on the web.

http://www.break.com/usercontent/2008/2/NIU-Tribute-2-14-08-456066

How can a loving God, let bad things happen?

Today's Blog is about spirituality. I know some of you may not believe in God, or something greater than ourselves. Even those that do believe, may sometimes have trouble reconciling the idea of a loving God, allowing bad things to in the world to innocent people, children, etc. I think Tom Honey, a pastor of Exeter Cathedral in the UK, does an excellent job of describing this greater good, this force or what some of us call God. His view of a supreme power, abates the problem of bad things happening to good people. Enjoy

http://www.ted.com/talks/tom_honey_on_god_and_the_tsunami.html

sources: TED TALKS

Complaining

I'm sure I heard a version of this somewhere, I apologize if I don't cite you because I don't remember where I read it, but anyway, I decided that I should try and adopt an attitude of minimal complaining. My motto “bitch, moan and complain, all you want, but do it only for five minutes, then either do something about the problem or move on.” For those of you that don't know me that well, here's a fun fact, I used to be a waitress at I-HOP back in Champaign, boy did that job teach me so much, especially about complaining.

When I first started working at IHOP, I feel that all I did was complain. “Oh this place sucks. There's never enough silver wear for customers, its a sauna in here, never enough plates, one of the grills is always broken, the heat doesn't work, Mondays and Fridays we are out of all the good things on the menu, oh and the guy that comes in at 7am didn't get here till 8 again, why should I have to give the bus boy 2 % of my tips when all the tables are dirty, blah blah blah blah the list goes on and on.” Don't even get me started with the complaining from customers, or how about the cooks yelling at the servers for messing up an order. How about your coworker is complaining your ear off the minute you walk in. Lets make one thing clear, I'm sure I was that chick at one point when I used to work there but after a while, I even got sick of myself bitching and complaining, I decided in order to succeed in this job, you either fix it yourself, or move on, and learned how to handle complaints. You can't control what others do, but you can control how you react to customers situations and everyday work challenges. I don't think complaining ever got much done, other than irritate someone.

In a restaurant, complaining takes place all over in different sectors. In fact there is so much complaining that if a dollar was donated to hunger for every complain that goes down, we would probably rid this world of hunger. Now maybe this may be a tiny bit of an overstatement, but seriously, there is lots of complaining. Cooks complain at the servers because customers want their food to be made a certain way, servers complain about their customers complaining about their food being horrible. Oh, and the poor managers, who have to hear it all, they complain about all the complaints.

Despite all the complaining, I loved I-HOP. If any of my I-HOP friends are reading this, I miss you guys! Let me tell you a little bit about the great things of working at the I-HOP in Champaign. When you get to work with those people for two years, they become your family. You look out for each other. Some of these people are pretty tough, but let me tell you, you have to be tough in this job, or else it will tear you apart. Honestly, many people have quit this job, many have gone home crying not to come back. These folks will make you develop a tough skin. This job taught me so much patience, and how to work with people, how to work with difficult co workers. You eventually learn to play on peoples good side. Some of these people if you get to know them a little bit, they are pretty cool, they have big hearts, and are people just trying to make a living, and live life like every body else. These people serve others for a living, day in and day out. Most of these people take some sort of satisfaction and pride doing their work. These people are hard working people that keep the restaurant running. I would like to share a few stories from I-HOP that stuck with me.

One day one of my friends was waiting on an order, the customers had been waiting for a while. She even asked the cook about the food. There is no ticket for that meal they say. So she goes back to the computer, and surely enough, there was her order that had not been sent in. We are humans, we make mistakes, its just hard when your wages depend on your service however. What did she do thought? She walked over to the table and apologized, she says, “I'm sorry It was my fault, I forgot to send in your order, and that is why your meal is taking so long, but it is being made right now.” You may have thought that she would have gotten either no tip or a small one at that, they were happy with their meal, and appreciated her honesty, and left her a good tip.

People just like to complain sometimes. My favorite is when people complain about their food after scarfing down practically the whole dish.

There was an instance in which I had a table of customers, and this lady was complaining about her eggs. She asked for them over medium, she made sure that I understood that they HAD to be over medium. I knew already that this would be a picky customer, so I made sure I told the cook to make sure those eggs were over medium. I bring the food out, she automatically sends the eggs back, too runny. I have the cook remake them, bring them out, nope sorry these are way too done. So I think to myself, well, third times usually a charm right, hey my boss even decided he would make them himself, I bring them out, nope, these just ain't right, “it must just be me the customer replies.” Ohhh sure enough I am screaming inside my head, of course its you, we tried three different times, but what do I do, I just jokingly laugh with her, offer her something else.

There was a time that a customer complained about not having extra cheese on his burger, even though I saw my manager make it, and put extra cheese, and she also made sure she put extra cheese, but it didn't matter because the customer is always right.

We had a woman I will give her a pseudo name of Ruthy, who always came in for coffee, every once in a while she would order food. She would just sit there for hours and drink coffee and talk to her self, or just be in her own world. Ruthy was a very intelligent woman, who had 5 master degrees and knew at least two languages, and even served on the faculty at U Of I back in the day. Ruthy suffers from schizophrenia. Some times she will have her episodes and may get a little loud, but she is harmless, and an interesting person to get to know. Ruthy doesn't normally tip, every once in a while I had gotten some spare change from her, I was not bothered by this however. She is very kind and generous, there was several occasions that she brought us treats, or other things for the staff to share. This one busy Saturday, most of us had anywhere from 3-5 tables in our section. If you got stuck with a small section, you had to get your customers in and out otherwise you would make no money. Now I can understand the want and the need to make money, but to treat someone as less important than a paying customer was wrong. One of my coworkers, was ignoring Ruthy, and failed to give her proper service, she just wanted her gone from her section so she could seat tipping customers. This coworker of mine, sure liked to complain. I almost felt like telling her, if you are so concerned about making money then just seat your customers at one of my tables, but please don't make yourself the victim here. It was easier to just express my negative feelings about this coworker, and I sure did for a long time , but complaining wasn't going to get any thing done. I think I eventually learned to work with this coworker.

I am really glad I got an opportunity to work with all the people that I did at I-HOP, they taught me so much, and I made some really great friends, not just the staff but the customers as well.

So getting back to my blog, now that I have reminisced a little, back to the topic of complaining. Complaining can take out the fun in anything. “It can make a fun job into a chore; at home a complainer can make a relaxing place into a place of stress.” We can find things to complain about just in anything and everything. If you see something and don't do anything about it, it must not be that bad to warrant your complaining. I know if there is a tag inside my shirt that is just annoying the hell out of me, I sure am quick to change shirts or take a pair of scissors to it. Sure you may tell me that it's not always that easy. But no one did say it was. Life isn't always easy and it isn't always fair. You can get a lot more done by fixing a problem then complaining about it. I guess another way of putting this is don't be victimized. You choose how things affect you. It is easier to play the card of the victim for we are delivered from responsibility but we aren't called to be victims. Fred Kratic put it like this: “we celebrate our failings when we make ourselves the victim.”

Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye, when [men] shall revile you, and persecute [you], and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. ~ Matthew 5:10-11

You may be wondering how can you be blessed and persecuted at the same time. Simply put, God calls on victims, but he doesn't call us to BE victims. You can take initiative or control of the situation. Maybe the situation at hand is a blessing in disguise. Call me a an optimist if you want, maybe even naïve, but I choose how I play the cards I'm dealt.

“Instead of complaining that the rosebush is full of thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses.”~ unknown

Checklist for Life, Thomas Nelson Publishers

Bible KJV

Hubris

It was postmarked April 27,

1992. “Greetings from Fairbanks!” it reads,

This is the last you shall hear from me Wayne. Arrived here 2 days ago. It was very difficult to catch rides in the Yukon Territory. But I finally got here. Please return all mail I receive to the sender. It might be a very long I return South. If this adventure proves fatal and you don’t ever me again, I want you to know you’re a great man. I now walk into the wild.

- Alex

Happy birthday, Christopher McCandless. 2/12/1968- 1992

Today's post explores the life of Christopher McCandless aka Alex Supertramp.

For Those of you that know me, know that I spent a few months up in Fairbanks, Alaska. My husband spent about two years up there working. Alaska is something else. Even though I did not get experience Alaska for all that it is, I am still glad I had the opportunity to live there for a moment. My husband and I want to own a cabin up there, sometime down the road. I yet have to experience its – 60° weather. Fairbanks, is the city where Alex ventures out into the wild.

Written by Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild, is a book that retells Alex's life and adventures. There is also a a film with the same title directed by Shaun Penn. Some of my Alaskan friends may criticize the McCandless story and be annoyed at how his death and lifestyle is romanticized, I do not blame them. The most critical statements made towards McCandless, come from people who live in Alaska, people who are experienced in rugged outdoor living. Regardless of these views, there is much to be learned from Alex. By no means do I deny the fact that Alex died a stupid death. Even thought he was gifted and talented and had above average intelligence, he sure lacked some common sense. His lack in humility, stubborn idealism, and hubris attitude, with an underestimation of the land and a mixture of unfortunate events with the course of time lead to a solemn death. Ironically, the artists he so idolized, lived a life contrary to what they preached, or what their art portrayed. Alex however measured his friends and those he admired by their art and works, rather than the life they lead. And even though he held himself and close friends to an extremely high code of ethics, and extended forgiveness to those who had lead their life astray, and had made grave mistakes he failed to extend this same courtesy to his family, especially his father. He is also a jerk for just leaving his family, with no explanation, never called or write to let them know he was ok. He Pretty much erased his family.

So why then do I defend him, or why do I feel sympathy towards him? What is there to learn from him? Well like everything else boys and girls, learning comes in all sorts of ways. Even though his death is a tragedy, there is much to be said about his drive for life, his desire for people to treat each other better, his go out and do attitude, and a desire to improve this world. And of course we can't forget the obvious lesson, to be taken away from this : be humble, be prepared.

1990 Alex graduated Emory University. After graduating, he had a remainder of 24,000 dollars left in his account that had been given to him by family for school. He signed over a check for that full amount to OXFAM American, a charity whose focus is on fighting hunger, something that Alex always had a heart for. “At long last he was unencumbered, emancipated from the stifling world of his parents and peers, a world of abstraction and security and material excess, a world in which he felt grievously cut off from the raw throb of existence” (p 18). Alex was on a search for a raw transcendental experience, in a Thoreauvian sort of sense. Alex was an itinerant, who made his way through Arizona, California, paddled down remote parts of the, Colorodo river, temporarily worked in South Dakota, and even ended up in Mexico. All through his journey he met many people, who often fed him and provided him aid. Alex was the type to make an impression on someone. The time had finally come for him to embark on what he called is Alaskan odyssey. He hitch hiked his way up to the Yukon territory and eventually into Fairbanks Alaska. Out into the bush he went, with minimal supplies and food. Setting camp in an old abandoned bus off stampede trail. He spent 4 months in solitude living off the land hunting and foraging for food. With him he had a 10-pound bag of rice, a semi-automatic rifle with 400 rounds of ammunition, a book of local plant life, several other books, and some camping equipment. He took pride in surviving with the minimal supplies. The 113 days spent in the bush, he kept a diary of some sort, high lighted passages from some of his favorite books, and inscribed to do lists. It appears that Alex was planing on rejoining society, he had come to the realization that“happiness only real when shared.” Life took a turn for the worst however.

From reading the book and looking on the internet, his cause of death is a debate. While Kraukauer would have us believe that Alex died from ingesting seeds that may have contained alkoloids, which are sometimes produced even by non toxic foods, such as the wild potato which he had been eating for a while now. Even though the wild potato is not toxic, the seeds could have been the possible cause of his demise. The problem with this theory however is that no toxins were found in Alex's autopsy. The most probable cause is starvation. The game he had been hunting was lean, he probably died of what is called rabbit starvation. It is so stupid, how relatively close civilization was to magic bus. Alex however for practical purposes was cut off from the rest of the world. “The bush is an unforgiving place, however , that cares nothing for hope or longing.” Pg 6

According to the moral absolutism which Alex adopted, a challenge in which a successful outcome is assured isn't much of a challenge (p 125). Alex saw the world in black and white. If I can characterize Alex, one thing for sure is that he is immature. For being the type of person that loves others, he failed to show forgiveness towards his family. Alex had six half siblings from his father's previous marriage. Alex however did not find this out till later. His father had led a double life, he remained with his previous wife while at the same time living with Alex's mom. Alex was hurt by the fact that his father's time love and affection was shared by a whole other family, which his father failed to mention and even tried hiding it. I don't think Alex ever forgave his father. In a way I can understand Alex. My father has done things that when I was younger I didn't think I could forgive him for. This however did me no good. I also understand Alex's longing for people treating each other better. One lesson I have taken away from my life however is that helping out starts out in your own home, with your own family. Forgive those you are close to, and love them. It is important not to give up on the world, and to have faith in people.

If you haven't read the book or seen the movie, I would really encourage you to see it. Alex is an interesting character.

sources
"Into the Wild", by Jon Krakauer
2007 Sean Penn film "Into the Wild"
Wikipedia